~moving on after a breakup~
Hi. I talked about this on another thread but i just want to get y'alls opinion about my situation so imma start a new one.
So my man who i been with for 4 years broke up with me over two months ago. we did break up halfway through our relationship but got back together not long after. I love him, he love me, but i was ready to move to the next level and he wasn't. Now i'm starting to think he will never be ready. We stopped talking for few weeks after that discussion and now weve lost all communication.
When we broke up, i became a ball of anxiety. I had to up my ssri anxiolytic meds and that helped with my anxiety. I also have a therapist and friends who help me through this difficult time. As you an see, i'm really trying here. There have been some improvements but my mind is still on th same place. I still miss him. I still want to get back together with him. I really feel like we can work through our differences, maybe reach a compromise. My friends say im still on denial stage where i dont want to belive that we broke up. but i dont think so. i think there's really a chance here and they dont see it. I just feel like i'll never find some1 like him. He's an amazing person. I don't know what im gonna do if we dont get back toegther.
Everyone tells me i just have to see my worth, build myself up. Even my doctor tells me im better off without him and that im out of his league. They say the problem isnt with me and that he might be facing some issues with himself, the reason why he cant move forward with me.
All these advice are important to me and i try - BELIVE ME - i try to follow them. But i still think the same way as the day we broke up. I want him back. I wanna call him, i wanna visit him on his apartment, i wanna be with him again.
Of course i want to be happy. I mean, who doesn't? I also don't want to be forever dependent on someone. I don't want my happiness to rely on a person other than myself but it looks like this is exactly whats happening right now. I just hate the idea of not being with him. It's just that we've planned our lives together. We we're gonna go backpacking through Europe. We were gonna buy a house and we were gonna have a family. But plans changed, obviously and thats just sad for me because im still holding on to it.
ive read a lot of helpful advice on this forum. you guys help a lot of people. y'all are awesome. i hope you can help me as well. I just feel so down right now. They say time heals all wounds but its been a while and i still feel terrible.